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The Rotunda
Thursday, July 31, 2025

25 Nicknames for Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Hello, everyone. Unless you live under a rock (and didn’t see the banner that was likely placed on said rock or notice the security perimeter that made commuting to and from the rock in question a pain in the ass), it’s finally time for the VP debate at Longwood! Due to this rare occasion, I am interrupting your regularly scheduled Rotonion to bring you a column of a different nature. With the political crapshoot heating up, the presidential candidates will become an everyday topic of conversation for most people (if they aren’t already). As your loyal columnist, I would be remiss if I didn’t provide you with some strong ammunition to use in your political discussions, especially against one candidate in particular. So without further ado, here are 25 nicknames for Donald Trump:

  1. Screamin’ Tangerine

  2. America’s Favorite Wrinkly Thumb

  3. The Human Cheeto

  4. Señor Baby Hands

  5. The Whiter Kardashian

  6. The “before” person in an infomercial who can’t accomplish the simple task

  7. Donald Drumpf

  8. Humpty Trumpty

  9. That weird racist uncle who doesn't get out much

  10. The Living Breathing Twitter Account

  11. Cheesey McCheeshead

  12. “Yuge”

  13. Buh Na Na Na Bratman

  14. Goldie Locks

  15. The Xenophobic Dorito

  16. Live Action Annoying Orange

  17. Angry rotten sweet potato

  18. A Mutant Carrot Toupee Salesman

  19. Sunny D, if Sunny D was actually ignorant and racist but still orange

  20. An internet troll who wandered into real life

  21. The world’s most upsetting sunset

  22. The bad snapchat filter that came to life

  23. That last french fry that got stuck under the couch cushion and has been there for years, covered in dust and dog hair, but has somehow gained the trust of all the ants in your apartment.

  24. A melting wax statue of 1990s Donald Trump

  25. A misinformed, racist, greedy, baby fingered threat to our nation and the values we pride ourselves upon