Hello again, all five of you loyal readers, and my mother, who is forced to read this. It’s another week, which means more questions, because somehow we still haven’t been told to stop.
Let’s get right to it, shall we?
This first question this week is:
"What item did you bring to college that was more useful than you expected?"
That’s a fantastic question! And by fantastic what I really mean is that it’s an alright question - a perfectly average, happily mediocre question. It’s not the worst for sure, but it’s no “How do I avoid hunchback whales.” As far as questions go, this one is pretty so so. However, I shall faithfully answer it regardless because I am loyal to my readers, and also because this column is already overdue as I write it, and I am out of options.
Anywho, with those extra 80 words out of the way (I have a word count to fulfil here) what really is the most unexpectedly useful thing I ever brought to college? Well coming to college is an extremely hectic time. You have to figure out where you are going to live, and plan your new life in a place you’ve only visited once or twice. There are roommates to coordinate with, classes to prepare for and crap to buy. So, so, so much crap. It’s stressful! There is always an excess of stuff that you think you need and will never use as well as a bunch of stuff you desperately need and forget. However, one thing you absolutely will require when coming to college is Amazon Prime.
Hear me out.
I know it’s not technically an object, but shut up. This is my column, and I can shill for Amazon if I damn well please.
Prime is fantastic, the free two-day shipping especially. Do you need materials for a project? Prime it. Textbooks? Prime it. Out of toilet paper? Prime it. Are you craving a five pound bag of gummy bears, or a toaster that burns wiener dogs into your morning meal? Prime it, baby! And it’s even better if you get an Amazon Echo, because then you can just shout things to Alexa, and she buys them for you (with your money, of course.) I just ordered a shower curtain with a space cat on it without even moving. The future is amazeballs, people
There it is, Amazon Prime is the best thing you can have in college or anywhere else. Enough said, next question.
"What are the best colors to wear to an interview?"
Black, of course. Black is the best color for everything. For example, Batman wears black, and you shouldn’t need any more of a reason than that.
Now the next important question is what do you wear with your black to this interview you have? Well, for that I suggest more black. And some body armor. And a mask - with pointy ears.
Basically, dress as Batman.
You know what they say, dress for the job that you want, not the job that you have. And you want to be Batman because we all want to be Batman.
I would love to write more about this, but frankly, I can't come up with a better answer than Batman, and also I've hit my word limit.
Goodnight!
