Following the recent sexual incidents,
a discussion began in regards to the
safety of students. While certainly such
a discussion is to be expected, if not
demanded, due to the circumstances,
it is interesting to consider what, or
whom, this discussion has been centered
around: women. Of course, given the
nature of the events, women are certainly
at the center of these discussions. But
now, the men on campus are expressing
how they have been affected by such
events.
In speaking with several guys on
campus, all of whom wished to remain
anonymous, I was intrigued by how
the events truly impacted each one in
entirely different ways. One stated that
he no longer felt safe in his building or
in the community as a whole.
One stated, “The idea that someone
could come onto campus with bad
intentions, and really not be noticed
before he did anything, really shook me.
I had always considered Farmville to be
such a safe place, and now that these
types of things have been happening,
I’ve lost one of the biggest draws I had
to the school.”
He went on to describe how his
friends, who attend larger universities
throughout the state, would look at
the incidents as more common, yet
the close-knit community of our small
school made it more personal to him.
“The girls here are like my sisters. I
might not know all of them, but having
class with them, living down the hall
and other stuff, has made me feel
responsible for their protection.”
Another student also expressed his
focus on the responsibility he feels to
protect the female students on campus:
“My fraternity often has events with
the sororities on campus, and so we are
very involved in the well-being of the
female students on campus. To think
that any of these girls could be in danger
really gets us mad. You want to go out
and make the people that do this pay.”
This student also went on to say
that he felt personally violated by the
recent campus incidents and stated
how he feels it is his duty to protect the
important women in his life.
“I have a mom and sisters at home.
These kinds of things really make you
think about them and how, as a guy,
you’re supposed to be the one to not let
bad things happen to them.”
After speaking with this particular
student, I was moved by how emotional
he became as he related the events to the
women in his life. I felt ashamed to have
not considered how deeply the events
resonated with the male students on
campus.
But why wouldn’t it? Why was I so
quick to be concerned about the female
students? Perhaps the answer is one
we’d like to pretend no one jumps to,
and yet is so often our initial reaction:
to blame men collectively for the
horrendous actions of individuals.
I will be the first to admit, when
speaking with other girls about incidents
like these, we are very quick to say things
like, “Men can be so perverted!” or
“Guys are such animals!”(Well, maybe
not exactly those words, but along that
train of thought).
But what we often do not realize is that
this sentiment doesn’t just exist within
girls.
After speaking with Zach Hunter,
a student who attends VCU where
such incidents are unfortunately more
common, I learned that the opposite
attitude exists among men he attends
school with.
Speaking generally of sexual incidents/
assaults, he said, “It doesn’t really
shock me anymore. It’s wrong, but girls
shouldn’t be dressing like that anyway,
it’s like they are asking for it.”
Both attitudes, while in essence, are
polar opposites of one another, with
one victim blaming and the other
one serving to generalize the blame,
are equally unfair. Men are neither
inherently sexually barbaric nor are
they at the mercy of the promiscuity of
women’s clothing.
In fact, to suggest such ideas as general
rules for the population should be
considered just as detrimental to society
as racism.
How can we as a college community,
and by extension as a country, expect to
be able to function with this underlying
stereotype of all men for the actions
of just a few? Why is it that we feel
sympathy for the gender mainly
targeted by sexual predators (in many
incidents, females) and not those who
care about them?
To stigmatize all males as sexual
monsters is perhaps the greatest
expression of injustice in our society
today. With that being said, we all have a
responsibility to step back and recognize
these actions as the works of individuals.
To think of them as anything but that is
simply ignorant sexism.
