Entering a new environment where no one knows your past mistakes might be the best feeling. Having a clean slate after so many awkward years in high school was like starting a whole new life all over again. Unfortunately, while I lost the negative judgments of others through my past mistakes, I seemed to have learned a new lesson as to what people will also judge me on - or rather, I would if anyone would tell me.
While I originally believed elementary school bullying was in the past, I have found a new, evolved form of bullying, one that pretends to be unknown and perhaps even a mutated form of maturity. Perhaps, this "bullying" is not bullying at all. It's hard to say due to the fact that it's so completely mind-boggling.
Let me first describe a situation to help you understand my confusion:
Imagine you're walking in a hallway. In front of you is someone you are on good terms with. You have conversed with this person before. You have eaten lunch with this person.
You have never had a bad experience with this person. Let's say you don't know this person very well, though, but it's been a few months, and so far, so good. Happy to see someone you know and enjoy, you wave and greet them in a friendly way like always.
Imagine that person walks past you without looking at you, speaking to you or acknowledging your presence. This person could hear you. This person knew you were there. But for some reason, this person does not want to even pretend that you exist.
What's up with that?
You think, "Maybe they didn't hear me." Oh, they heard you.
This happens a few more times, you always friendly, the other person always cold. But you realize it is not just this person who is treating you this way. Friends of this person who you also had been on good terms with are treating you rather strangely.
Wow. You must have done something really bad.
You think back. Maybe you offended the person somehow. Maybe you offended a friend of the person somehow. But you have no idea. Suddenly, a group of people are against you, giving you the cold shoulder to make you feel bad for what you have done - but how on earth are you going to feel bad for what you have done when no one will tell you?
But is what they're doing really a bad thing if it's not actually affecting you? They're not shoving you into lockers or calling you names. They're not really doing anything to you, so could you call it a problem? Is it even really bullying if there's no real communication?
Soon enough, your continuous attempts to maintain politeness begin to get tiresome. It's hard to be kind to someone who could not care less about you. And you have enough friends anyway. Good friends. You shouldn't care, right? Others' opinions don't matter. Right?
Even though you know it's not possible for the whole world to be your friend or ally, you still can't help but hate the thought of someone hating you - especially for reasons you don't even know!
You try to think of solutions. Maybe if you go up to the group and confront them, you will find out what's wrong. But how can you fix something that is invisible, a problem totally apparent, but completely impossible to decipher?
Growing older, I figured people would understand what it means to be an adult. If you have a problem with someone, confront them politely, professionally and respectfully. Start thinking, "If someone treated you the way you treat others, would their behavior be okay?" What is this bullying doing in college? Aren't we above that?
Longwood University educates us Lancers to appreciate and celebrate diversity, whether that be the color of one's skin, the beliefs in one's mind or any other trait that makes one unique. Equality.
Walking around acting like someone does not exist, is not worth your time, is so beneath you that they do not deserve your acknowledgement to their existence - that is not equality. Are the only people who are equal to you those who have not offended you?
Really, though, how can anyone expect someone to feel bad for something if they don't even know what they did wrong? Come on. Talk to me.
