This weekend, I went to Baltimore for the Southern Historical Association's 77th annual conference - It was delightful. I listened to speakers deliver papers on all sorts of fascinating historical topics, met interesting people and stayed in a very nice hotel. But spending that much time in the heart of Baltimore made me realize something — I don't belong in the city.
I grew up in King George County, just a couple miles from the courthouse. It's the "Gateway to the Historic Northern Neck" and the birthplace of James Madison. It is bordered by the lovely Potomac and Rappahannock Rivers, and most people would say that there really isn't much there. When I was a little girl, we got a Food Lion. That was a big deal, because before that, we bought our groceries half an hour away in Fredericksburg.
Until earlier this year, King George had no Walmart, and the new one is near the Dahlgren Naval Base, the county's biggest employer, twenty minutes from my house. The entire county has a population of about 20,000 (So does Prince Edward, but this number does not account for its transitory college population, which King George doesn't have). There are a few subdivisions that popped up during the housing boom, but for the most part, King George is still a picturesque rural county.
I also didn't get out much when I was younger. My parents were totally content to stay right in the area. I've lived in the same house since I was two, and the farthest we ever went from home was Florida — I was twelve then, and that was the first time I ever saw the ocean or a palm tree.
I had big dreams as a kid: I wanted to see the world, move far away and live in a big city far away from King George. I told my dad this one evening and he looked confused. I asked him why he always stayed in King George. He told me that he had simply never had the desire to live anywhere else. He has always lived there and his family was there. It had rivers, farms and forests a plenty, and just enough stores and restaurants to be adequate. There was nothing wrong with it. Why should he want to be anywhere else? He was right. I don't need to live somewhere else, and here are four reasons why I think so:
1. I am clumsy and easily distracted. My mom and any of my close friends can tell you that I have never been able to watch where I'm going. My third grade teacher actually called my mom in for a conference once because she was concerned about how much I ran into things. I slip on wet sidewalks and trip over uneven bricks and occasionally almost walk out in front of cars. This is only made worse by the fact that I don't look where I'm walking. I'm too distracted by all of the glorious architecture — my favorite thing about cities. Everything is so strange and pretty to me that I'm prone to wandering aimlessly, and I have no good sense of direction.
2. I get nervous easily. When I see someone who I think looks sketchy, I avert my eyes, walk faster, clutch my purse tighter and think, "Please stay away!" I did this pretty much the entire time I was in Baltimore. I also panic when I don't know what direction to go in — getting lost terrifies me, so driving in cities is bad for me too. I'm not so good with one way streets, and I constantly ask whoever I'm with if I'm doing something right.
3. I love my family and friends. I like to know the people I live around — that's why I'm so happy here at Longwood and back home in King George. I know everyone and trust them. I like to see new places, but being surrounded by strangers gets old really fast. I could never be too far away from the people I will love forever, even in this age of advanced communications technology.
4. I like animals and plants. The other day, I had a conversation with my roommate after she found me a tree frog: I said, "Ashton, the thing I miss the most about home is the critters." I picked up the frog and let it crawl across my hand, grinning the whole time. I love frogs and just about every other animal that isn't a parasitic insect. If I'm upset about not seeing enough frogs, deer or raccoons in Farmville, would I really be happy in a place where the wildlife is limited to pigeons? No, I wouldn't.
I respected my father's words when he said them, but it seems that with every new experience they ring truer. Today, as I make preparations to spend my next semester in Valencia, Spain, I hear him clearly. I will still travel the world like I dreamed of, but I will never leave my home forever. I don't belong in a big city far away. I know where I belong, and I have four good reasons why.
