"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4–8.
Many of us have heard this verse, whether it was from attending church as a child, being a guest at a wedding or simply seeing it inscribed on a plaque in someone's home. I absolutely love this verse, and while I believe all of that is true to a degree, love is also a deeply personal emotion and different people are going to have different interpretations.
For this editorial, I wanted to look into what love means to different people I figured no better place to start with the relationship expert herself, Ms. Tara Carr. For those of you who don't know, Tara wrote the column "Sex in the Ville" for the Rotunda for several years. "I do believe in love at first sight," said Carr. "Not the truest form of love, but there is something there." She thinks that physical attraction is important in a relationship, but so are a lot of other factors.
Carr does think that relationships take a lot of work, but she also thinks they should come naturally. Another crucial quality Carr thinks you should find in your partner is the ability to like them .She feels that like is a much stronger word then love. "You can love them all you want, but if you don't like them, then what? After your kids grow up and you are retired you need someone you like as a person to sit on the front porch in rocking chairs with and talk with," said Carr.
My next stop? Turning to the people who not only showed me what it meant to love somebody, but also have loved me since the day I was born and even before then: my mom and dad. I of course see the obvious ways my parents love each other. I see them kiss, hold hands and exchange cards and flowers. But it's the smaller stuff that makes their love so obvious to me. My dad stopping by the store and getting an éclair for my mom just because it's her favorite dessert and he wanted to treat her. My mom taking my dad's glasses off and covering him with a blanket when he falls asleep on the couch. Watching 21 years of these tiny acts have shown me what it really means to love someone.
When I asked my mom what love meant to her, she said, "[It's] finding someone who loves you just the same when you are at your very best and when you are at your very worst." My dad, who is a goofball and can't take anything seriously, took forever to come up with a serious response. Word choice is not his strong suit, so once I got him to give me a real answer, all he could come up with is, "You just get this feeling, you know?" And although my mom teased him about his horrible response, I know their love is deep enough that she knows exactly what he is talking about.
I asked my brother Danny next. He reflected on his first love, saying, "She is the only woman I've ever met who never judged me, always had my back no matter what and I could tell her anything in the world and not be ashamed. She was the only person I could be completely myself around.".
I always ask my advisor, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies Jeff Halliday, every question under the sun. This editorial was no exception. "Love is both fickle and infinite, said Halliday. "I have found that what a person knows to be love changes over time and that sustaining love is worth the effort. The love I experience as a husband and father is the most splendid emotion I've ever had. And to live in that love every day, to be awash in it for even brief moment, sustains my spirit. Love is a daily motivator." If you have ever heard him talk about his wife and kids, you know every word of that is true.
I asked my close friends Lauren and AJ Karidis what love means to them. "Being in love means you accept someone no matter what. You accept their flaws, their family situation, everything good and bad. Love not only means love, it means support," said Lauren. AJ's response was, "It means you are selfless enough to humble yourself to do anything that is right and just for another person, regardless of the outcome and without need for reciprocation or gratification."
No editorial about love would be complete without calling on my dear friend Laura Beth Sticker, probably one of the most lovable people I have ever met. "Being in love means more than kisses, hugs and saying ‘I love you,'" she said. "It's when you can totally act like a kid and not be so serious all the time. Being in love goes beyond affection, but affection is a huge part of it! It's also when you feel comfortable and safe, like no one or nothing can touch you or your significant other."
But my favorite response? The one I got from my boyfriend Corey's grandma. "Love for me is a feeling of tenderness, devotion and affection," she said. "I have these feelings for my husband, children, grandchildren, parents, family and friends. Each one holds a special place in my heart. Love is hard to describe, but once you find it you know exactly what you have. It's a long and sometimes hard journey but it's well worth it.
I normally don't got for the sappy stuff, but the day this editorial is coming out is my two year anniversary with Corey and I could not resist. I can see parts of everyone's definition in our relationship. Corey definitely loves me the way I am and at my very worst, and we would do anything for each other. I can be complete myself around him, and I feel totally comfortable with him. Although we have to work at it is absolutely worth it. I will leave it on this simple last line for Corey: ILY my love.