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Monday, July 7, 2025

What am I supposed to eat until Upchurch opens?

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A recent attempt at a sandwich at D-Hall.

My name is Jesse Plichta-Kellar, and I am a vegetarian. Normally I don’t open with that, because it’s really not the most interesting thing about me. I write, I’m Jewish, I started a club, I love history, I went abroad this summer. All of those things are more interesting, but my dietary restrictions are relevant to the discussion, I promise.

What I’d like to discuss is the abysmal lack of my dining options until the Upchurch University Center (which I give about two days after opening before it’s called the “new STU” by everyone). I can eat very little at the dining hall. Even the fries are contaminated with fish or meat oil (there’s no little green “vegetarian friendly” sticker so I assume they are made with fish oil). Sometimes I can look the other way on that (but it makes me feel weird) but it’s not ideal. If it’s early enough to get an omelet, I run the risk of them smashing the ham from someone else’s order into my omelet as they push the ingredients around on the stove, rendering it inedible to me. If I get a sandwich, I have to check to ensure they haven’t mixed mine up with someone else’s (which has meat). Or even if it doesn’t get mixed up, it might turn out squished and gross anyway (that gross sandwich pictured is what happened when I tried to “give D-hall a chance” for the third year in a row).

Good thing I’m a bagel person, because Einstein’s was in the old STU (which was open to midnight on campus, unlike Main Street which closes at a normal bagel place time). No more Einstein’s and they aren’t even moving into Upchurch. Now I have to wait until Starbucks opens to be able to blow my bonus dollars on bagels.

But surely, I can get salad?

Last year, campus received the gift of Greens to Go. I love Greens to Go. They have the best salads on campus and I can use meal swipes. All the meal swipe meals come with chicken, but they make it on the spot. I can slightly customize my meal swipe order by asking for no chicken. No problem. But you know, kind of a problem if they aren’t open.

Greens to Go has already reopened on campus. While it previously had hours every day of the week, it now closes fairly early on weekdays and has NO weekend hours.

 As if LU shuts down in its entirety on the weekends. Like we still don’t live here. Like we don’t have clubs and organizations and events to go to. Like we don’t have to go to the library.

Oh, and Greens to Go opens at 11AM on weekdays. The bagels are gone, so I guess getting salad for breakfast can’t be an option either?

The prepacked meal swipes salads from Greens to Go at the P.O.D. are only available with chicken already in them. If Greens to Go was open I could go and get a custom (literally the same thing no chicken) meal swipe salad, but since the chicken is already in the ones at the P.O.D. I’m out of luck there too.

Oh, and the convenience store on campus now closes at 5PM, which is inconvenient as hell.

There’s also no more coffee shop on campus until Starbucks opens up in the new STU. Where am I supposed to get coffee? I miss Java City already.

Yes, I know I can make food at my apartment. Yes, I own a coffee maker. Yes, I know that I can buy food in Farmville at restaurants. I know, I know. 

However, making food is inconvenient (also I’m a bad cook) and eating out is expensive. I had no choice to buy a meal plan, it stands to reason I should be able to use it.

Oh well, I guess it'll get better when the new STU opens...In October, right?

A recent attempt at a sandwich at D-Hall.

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