I am dog, and I am here to tell you why dogs are more pawsome than cats.
First, I know that cats and their human followers will be hissterical about being told that we, dogs, are better (I’m not worried – I know they know it’s true deep inside), but that brings me to my first point. Dogs love humans. Humans love dogs. Humans are not dogs’ followers. They are our pack leaders. We look to them for guidance and food, and in return, we are loyal and give them love. What do cats do? They have a lot of ‘alone time,’ but suddenly when feeding time comes, they remember they ‘have’ humans and rub on their leg or sit on their face if they aren’t awake yet.
That leads me to my next point, it may seem purrplexing, but a cat rubbing on your leg is not a sign of love. It is their way of marking their territory. That’s right, you cat loving fools! They tricked you! They aren’t giving you love; they are making sure you remember that they OWN you. With dogs, it’s simple. We lick, we follow, we protect from squirrels, we love. No strings attached.
I have heard some humans say that cats are smarter than dogs. I disagree. I don’t know any cats who have figured out that if they do easy things like sitting or lying down, they get treats. It isn’t even a secret! Humans ask you to sit, you sit, you get treat. They just don’t get it. Also, dogs are not as easily entertained by things like sitting in a cardboard box and following a piece of string. We, dogs, are more advanced and enjoy the fancier things in life like chasing the mailman and bringing back stick. I still don’t know why humans throw sticks and then immediately want them back, but it sure is a fun game to play.
Some humans also say that cats are easier to take care of than dogs. One reason they say this is because they don’t take their cats on walks. First of all, that doesn’t make any sense because walks are the meaning of life. To walk with human is to spend time with someone you love and at the same time smell everything that has peed in one spot. Also, cats probably do need walks. When cats don’t get walked, they get fat, really, really fat. Some people say that it’s easier to pick after them because they use a litter box in their house. I’m not sure about this because dogs do not go in the same place they sleep; they just don’t. So, that’s more proof that cats and all cat owners are weird.
There are lots of reasons that dogs are better. So, forget the cats; join the bark side.
