The second week of school has just started, and by now most people are just starting to get into the groove of things. Before anything gets too crazy, I’m taking this opportunity to warn my readers about the dangers of skipping class. Side effects of skipping class may include enjoyment of and, therefore, a propensity toward sleeping in, falling behind in class, developing chronic lethargy or at minimum laziness and as with anything else with this world, death.
If you have skipped class and have experienced any of these symptoms, you should stop skipping class and may want to talk to you doctor. If you haven’t yet, here are some reasons to keep it that way.
The most obvious reason is that you (or your parents, the government, some lovely donor or sugar daddy) are paying for your classes. Every moment that you are about to spend in class, you have already paid for in advance. There isn’t any reason that skipping class actually makes sense when you think about it like that, even if you’ve lost a lot of sleep, have a cold or completely lost faith in your country and therefore humanity.
Skipping a class to sleep in despite paying hundreds of dollars to take is like paying for a hamburger at a fast food restaurant, but then deciding that you would rather stay at the register and take a nap than stand in the line to receive it. First of all, you will look stupid for sleeping at the register and probably bother people with your snoring and drool. Secondly, why would you buy a hamburger if you weren’t going to eat it?
I understand that there are so many other things that one could be doing instead of going to class like spending hours on end watching episode after episode of "Days of Our Lives" and binge-eating Rice Krispie Treats, but that’s not really an argument for why you shouldn’t come to class. There are a lot of things you could be doing instead.
You could join a nudist camp, spend 12 hours a day playing guitar or decide to go on a nice motorcycle ride to Canada, but you’re not. Skipping class to watch Netflix or do any other miscellaneous activity is just as much as waste of money and time as all of those other things. Who wants to explore the world and meet interesting people anyway?
It’s hard to never miss class. If you’re seriously ill or sporting Brony-wear, it’s recommended that you stay home. So, it’s okay to miss class once in a while, but if you show up to German 102 one day in October and a classmate asks if you're new, you may have missed too many classes.
Avoid the awkwardness and guilt. Just go to class.
