“Glee” brings in the New Year with a reminder of just what those of us who gave up hope on the series in 2012 missed. Nothing much except poorly executed story lines meant to make us ponder what the “Glee” writers are thinking.
Now, on to the actual show. It begins with series creator Ryan Murphy trying to come up with some sort of way to get New Directions to Regional’s, despite the fact that they didn’t even place. They were disqualified when Marley fainted.
Tina, who somehow is the senior class secretary, suggests that the prom be a Sadie Hawkins dance. The ruling board approves the dance, and the viewers are, once again, whisked to New York and left wondering if Blaine will stay away due to his past horror at a Sadie Hawkins dance.
Ah Kurt, how the NYADA story line becomes somewhat tolerable now that someone can tone-down the annoying squeal of Rachel’s voice. It’s too bad Ryan Murphy seems to like reusing plot points and has Rachel abandoning Kurt for Brody — the same way Kurt left Mercedes in the dust for Blaine in season two, episode 13. Back at McKinley, the boys are freaking out because a girl could randomly come up and ask them to the dance. Oh no! It’s not like girls do not have to worry about that constantly.
Finn apparently has to think now that New Directions can’t compete anymore, despite Ryan Murphy’s best efforts. So he goes to his former football coach, who arm-wrestles other teachers in the teachers’ lounge. Okay, two things: One: why? Two: Finn’s not a paid teacher, so why is he allowed in there?
Now, the girls are singing to the boys they want to ask to the dance.
I see Ryan Murphy has forgotten that there is a member of the Glee Club who would rather not have a girl ask him to the dance as a date due to obvious reasons.
Unfortunately, Blaine is the first one asked by ... Tina. Didn’t she want to get back with Mike six episodes ago? Again, Ryan Murphy is reusing plot points — this time from season one, episode three. Only this time, Tina actually knows Blaine’s gay. Adding to the awkwardness is the fact that Artie (one of Tina’s ex-boyfriends) thinks the song is for him. Isn’t he dating Sugar?
Back in New York, Kurt seems interested in a member of the school’s show choir. Hmm ... why couldn’t that have been the premise of the show instead of Rachel being Rachel?
People continue to pair off for the dance (in surprisingly heterosexual couples. Seriously, Ryan Murphy? Blaine and Tina?), and Brittany sings something that complements her voice other than Ke$ha or Britney Spears. Once again, Brittany makes fun of the show, slowly advancing in the list of characters that are somewhat tolerable.
For the next few minutes, the show is extremely boring with the exception of wishing Rachel would get hit by a taxi as she jaywalks through NY traffic.
A couple of songs, an awkward Jake/ Marley moment and an almost kiss later, the viewers see that Ryan Murphy is ready to ruin this show completely. SFW, otherwise known as Trent, has come to testify that the Warblers were using HGH (performance enhancing drugs) to improve their chances.
Rachel, you’re a vegan. Why are you eating a turkey burger? Brody, it’s the 21st century, you could use your cell to call and let Rachel know the train was late, and last, but certainly not least, Rachel, talk to your roommate before inviting your boyfriend to move in. Oh, what am I saying? This is the girl who almost got married at the end of last season.